Awakening
by fbi-woman
Summary: Kate realizes she's already found what she told Castle she wanted. For the purposes of this story, Josh went to Haiti. Picks up where Countdown ended.


Title: Awakening

Author: fbi-woman

Rating: K+

Type: Castle, Caskett

Spoilers: Content from Setup and Countdown.

Disclaimer: If it's from Castle, it's not mine. Though I wish it was so I could push certain doctors out of a plane.

Summary: Kate realizes she's already found what she told Castle she wanted. For the purposes of this story, Josh went to Haiti. Picks up where Countdown ended.

A/N: A little random Caskett fluffy one-shot for december21st.

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><p>"You know, I was thinking… I was thinking maybe… I mean, you're probably tired and want to get home, but mother and Alexis went to the Hamptons and after the day we've had, some company might be nice… so I was thinking maybe you could come over and we could have a movie night or something, just to unwind… if you want to."<p>

She couldn't help but smile; he was adorable when he was worried about how she'd react. She never noticed that before. Although in all fairness, more often than not the situation involved him confessing something she wasn't likely to be pleased about.

"That sounds perfect."

His face lit up and he darted over to her chair to retrieve her coat. "Great! Let's go!"

"You know Castle, we're not on a deadline anymore. There's no hurry."

"Maybe I just can't wait to get you home."

She just laughed and rolled her eyes.

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/

They both must have dozed sometime off during the second movie, because when she closed her eyes Cher and Nicholas Cage were at the Opera, and the next time she opened them the room was filled with light and the DVD menu was on the screen. Somehow she had also gone from leaning against Castle to lying on top of him, wrapped in his arms. And much to her surprise, she found she was fine with that. There was no panic, no escape plans formulating, and no awkwardness: it just felt right. In fact, she didn't even want to get up. She didn't care if they stayed like this all day and she woke up again tomorrow in the same place.

That's when the panic arrived. What the hell was she doing, thinking like that? She was technically still with Josh. Sure she wasn't happy about him going to Haiti, and he knew that, but she hadn't exactly broken up with him. She thought she had put this thing for Castle behind her. She was supposed to want her boyfriend to hold her; she shouldn't be in another man's embrace and wanting to stay there. It was about comfort, she reminded herself, but even if Josh were around, she knew he couldn't have given her the comfort she needed. It wasn't that she needed comforting that she was okay; she needed the comfort of knowing _Castle_ was okay. The picture was coming into focus now, and she was at war with herself over what she saw. She needed to get out of here. She needed to clear her head. She needed to talk this out.

Ever so carefully she extracted herself from his grasp, moving as quietly as possible and praying she wouldn't wake him. Once she was free, she tucked the blanket back around him before tiptoeing to his office in search of a pen and paper. She hastily scribbled a note about getting started on paperwork, placed it on the coffee table, retrieved her things, and slipped out the door. But she wasn't really going to do paperwork. That was nowhere near the top of her priority list at the moment, though it probably should be. Instead she headed straight to the morgue. She had slept in quite late and was hoping to grab Lanie for an early lunch.

Her friend looked up, surprised, when she came in without warning, wearing yesterday's clothes and looking flustered.

"Are you free for lunch?"

Lanie raised an eyebrow. "Right now?"

"Preferably."

"Okay, just let me finish up, I'll be ready in 10."

"I'll go grab a table if you want to meet me there."

"Sure. Deli down the street?"

"Perfect."

And as quickly as she appeared, she was gone. Lanie shook her head. Something was up with that girl, and she was pretty sure it had something to do with Castle and yesterday's clothes.

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/

When Lanie arrived there was a glass of water waiting for her and Kate was already half way through her coffee, staring rather intently at the little container of Splenda and sugar packets, which sat in the centre of the table.

"Earth to Kate."

Kate snapped out of her trance and smile apologetically. "Sorry."

"Spill."

"Hello to you to."

Lanie smiled coyly. "Hello Kate, you're looking lovely today, though I could swear you wore that outfit yesterday."

"Shit, I didn't even think to go change."

"So you weren't at home last night."

"Can we order before we get into this?"

"No."

"I'm hungry."

"So am I, so get talking."

Sighing in defeat, Kate conceded. "Okay fine, but there's a lot of ground to cover before I get to last night, so you'll have to be patient. Nothing happened anyways. Well, not last night. There's something I didn't tell you, but you have to promise me you won't say anything to _anyone_ about it, okay?"

"Okay."

"I'm serious, you cannot breathe a word of this to Esposito or anyone else, because as far as I know, no one knows about this and I want to keep it that way, at least for now."

"I promise, not a word to Javier or anyone else."

"Okay. So, you know when we were working on my mom's case, how Castle and I went to go find Ryan and Esposito?"

"Yeah."

"I never told you how we got past the guard out front."

"I thought you knocked him out?"

"I did, but I had to get close enough first. I didn't know how we were going to get down there without him making us, so Castle came up with the idea to pretend we were a couple and we were just out and about bar hopping or whatever. So we went with it, but we were getting closer and the guy was totally not buying it, so I told Castle and I was going to get my gun but he grabbed my arm… and then he kissed me."

"WHAT? YOU KISSED AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?"

"Shhh Lanie, when I said not to tell anyone, I was including the other people eating here."

"Sorry, continue."

"Well, I wasn't expecting it so I was just sort of stunned and then I realized what we were doing and pulled back, but he was looking at me like he was trying to tell me something, and then I saw the security guy watching us and I figured it out, so then I sort of kissed him."

"You kissed TWICE?" Lanie squeaked.

"Yes, and we're never going to get to eat if you don't stop interjecting."

"Okay, okay, I'll be quiet. Keep going."

"Anyways, that's when it got a little out of hand. I was really trying to concentrate and keep an eye on the guard but I guess I got sucked into the whole thing and completely lost my train of thought. It was just… wow. I think I actually _moaned_; that's how good it was. Thank God I opened my eyes when I did though or I would have missed my chance to take that guy down. That was the point of the whole thing, and we almost blew it because I lost focus."

"But you didn't, and I have a feeling that's not the part that's bothering you."

Kate sighed. "No, it's not. When we were in that quarantine tent, I was telling him about Josh going to Haiti, and I was saying how at first I liked that he wasn't around all the time, because I could keep one foot out the door, but I was starting to wish that I had a guy who could be there for me and I could be there for him, and we would just jump into it together. Then this morning when I woke up on the couch with him, it just sort of clicked and I realized… I think I want Castle to be that guy."

"Honey, he already is that guy. He's just waiting for you to give him the go ahead."

"But what do I do about Josh? I mean, he's a great guy and I really like him and we work."

"Is just 'working' enough?"

"I don't know."

"I think you do."

"But what if we try and it doesn't work? Then we lose everything."

"Girl, you can't get rid of him no matter how hard you try. He's never going to let you get away altogether. Do you want to know what I think?"

"Please."

"I think you know exactly what you want to do, but Josh is a nice little security blanket that you're afraid to let go. I think he's more invested in you than you are in him, and while what you have is enough for now, eventually you're going to wonder if you could have had something better. And that's not fair to either one of you. You should have someone who worships the ground you walk on, and he should have someone prepared to give him her all, and let's face it: Castle is always going to have more of you than you're willing to share with someone else."

"So you think I should go for it with Castle?"

Lanie reached over and placed her hand over her friend's, "I think you should do what you _really_ want to do, and deep down you know what that is."

She sighed heavily, "yeah."

"So you're okay with this now, you know what you're going to do?"

"Yes."

"So we can eat now?"

"Yes."

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/

Kate hung her jacket on the back of her desk chair and flopped into the seat with a sigh. She was already feeling drained and she had only been awake for a couple hours. Granted, she had just gotten off the phone with Josh. As breakups go, it wasn't too bad, but it had still taken a lot of emotional energy. She didn't feel right doing it over the phone, but she also didn't want to string him along for another month or more until he came home. He had been hurt and disappointed, but altogether not that surprised since they hadn't been on great terms when he left.

Her phone chimed and for a moment she thought it might be him, but was relieved to see Castle's picture appear on the screen. It was a text message.

"_Are we ok?"_

She smiled. _"We're ok."_

"_Dinner tonight?"_

"_Sure."_

"_My place at 7? Italian ok?"_

"_Sounds good."_

She felt a stir of anxious butterflies, but she had to admit part of her was excited. As risky as it was, it she was finally ready… she hoped.

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/

They were once again settled on the couch with a movie playing on the screen. He wasn't watching the movie though; he was watching _her_ and she knew it. She had been trying to work up the nerve to tell him what she came to say, hoping that somehow the topic would come up in conversation so there would be a segue to her little spiel, but no such luck. And now, with the night coming to a close, she hadn't said a single thing about it and was finding his constant watch unnerving.

Finally she snapped. "What?"

"What?"

"You're staring at me."

"I'm worried about you."

"Why? I'm fine."

"You were just really quiet at dinner and you left before I woke up this morning and I know you said we were okay but it seems like something is bothering you. Did I do something to upset you?"

She couldn't help but think how sweet he is sometimes. "No, no, it's nothing like that. I just… this morning… I was thinking that…"

Words failing her, she abandoned them all together, choosing instead to lean in and press her lips to his. It was chaste and brief, lasting only a second before she pulled back to look at him. He was surprised and confused, that much she could tell. She kissed him again, lingering a bit longer this time. Before she could move away, his hand moved to cup her face as he kissed her back. She teased his lips with her tongue and that was the catalyst: hesitation vanished and passion was unleashed. Teeth clashed and nipped while they devoured each other. His fingers tangled in her hair and her hands clutched at his shirt, pulling him closer.

When they finally broke apart for air, she could see the questioning look in his eyes.

"I broke up with Josh", she whispered breathlessly.

"You did?"

"Yeah."

"Why?" He hoped he knew the answer, but he needed to hear it from her to be sure.

"He's a great guy, but he's just not the one."

"Any thoughts on who is?"

"I have a good idea, but I think I need to test it out a bit more."

He grinned. "Need any help with that?"

"As a matter of fact I do."

"I'm a good test subject."

"I bet you are."

"You want to find out how good?"

"I'm sure you'll show me."

"You know me so well."

She leaned in until her lips were almost touching his. "Hey Castle? Less talking."

She didn't have to tell him twice.


End file.
